Marc Bolan? Is that you?

12 inch long...teeth?  And oral?  I guess that's just because he can't use his hands.

“Hey ladies, just looking to have a woman who will see me for what I am (if for at least one fleeting moment of passion) — a man who keeps his thumbs, forearms, and upper arms taped together at all times to honor the late great Tyrannosaurus Rex – the sexiest of all dinosaurs. Now I know there are outpatient procedures to fuse the arm together surgically to better align myself with the ancient beast but it is simply too expensive for me; after all it is difficult to hold down a job with the limited motor skills my condition affords me. If you don’t like rambunctious roaring and screeching you should count yourself out right now, the same if you think the earth is 6000 years old. D&D free you should be too, will reciprocate oral.

P.S. Send pics to get ones of my dinosaur dong.

"Raaaaaaawwwwwwrrr!!!”

(Craigslist, Indianapolis)

Must Love Dogs

Adultery isn't a sin as long as we go to church together:

---

I’m married to a woman who no longer wants to be married to me. For financial reasons divorce is not a good option. She has found a boyfriend to who he goes for affection and intimate time. I really don’t mind that so much but she refuses to support my interest in the church and things spiritual. I’m looking for a term relationship with a woman who is willing to join me in going to church and participating in church activates. If you are interested in meeting to exchange information on our beliefs please reply and we can go out to dinner. For us to seriously begin a relationship my dog sheba must like you too. This is not an advertisement for booty so please don’t try to use sex to attract me. it will never work

(Craigslist, Chicago)